i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
