if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
