So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
