8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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