Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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