Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
