U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
