Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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