everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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