is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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