Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
