worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
