i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
