I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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