I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
