when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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