She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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