I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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