Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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