For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
