butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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