Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
