i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
