I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
