adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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