You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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