The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
