I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
