Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
