ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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