i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
