yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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