Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
