Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
