weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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