I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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