Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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