At least make sure they are 18
Why
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
