Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
