There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
