My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
my poor anus
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
