then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
