it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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