so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Send help, water and tortillas.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
