Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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