I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
