Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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