Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
