Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Let's get the cat blown out
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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