Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
