i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
