They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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